Simplicity of love

I'm beginning to realize something, doing this whole "Christian" thing.

I hear people talk about what we should be doing to impact more people,

to save more souls,

more lives.

To rescue those who are falling,

to help the widows

the orphans

the lonely.

What can we do?

and we sit around strategizing

and optimizing

and criticizing

and rectifying

and maybe the problem isn't that we don't know how to reach these lost ones

these broken ones.....

maybe the problem is is that we know exactly what we need to be doing.

Maybe we just

can't

do it.

Maybe we know that throwing a bible verse down isn't enough

that a prayer- though incredibly, incredibly impacting

will not always make someone want to run into God's arms

Maybe we know that it will take time

and relationship building

and sacrifice

to see that widow restored to joy

to see that orphan believe in himself

to see the low made high

and the broken made whole

maybe we know it takes community

But community- it's so hard, and so messy

getting close to people, getting vulnerable-

it will hurt.

Letting people in- giving them a chance to love and be loved-

it's terrifying.

Why risk it?

Well, maybe if we make our church more trendy

maybe if we sell more varieties of coffee

then people will come

But we know that's not true

no matter how much we deny it

we know what's needed for life change

we've experienced it-

we've experienced Him

Because we remember how God Himself

broke into the messiness of relationship

when He put on skin

and walked

through the pain

and grittiness

and ugliness of humanity.

We remember how He walked without wavering

without fear of rejection or judgement

to that place where He spread wide His arms,

opening them to all of humanity, saying,

"Come, have a relationship with me".

And we cannot deny this-

that God did it best.

He didn't save people with flashy churches

or impressive programs

He saved people by humbly, and unwaverlingly, loving us.

And all He asked in return is for us to do the same.

So maybe we do know what needs to be done.

It's just a matter of, well, doing it....

Alright. Last night was the first night that I was at H20. This is a seriously awesome youth group. There were soo many students who were literally on fire for God last night, and there were a ton of kids who were super mature in their faith. It was really cool to see such a large percent of the students really engaging, and getting it. I was just kind of in shock all night. I didn't exactly know what was going on. But I DID get up on stage and get introduced, and did announcements.... and made myself look like an idiot. And after service I got to meet some students. An eleven year old kid taught me how to dougie. And I met.... a TON of people. Ha. I'm still in shock. I'm hoping that after a couple days here i'll be able to get in the groove of things. Right now i'm just having a lot of fun. A lot of terrifying, scary fun.

Yeah, i'm still terrified.

But this is definitely where i'm supposed to be, scariness and all.

Last night some of the girls from the youth group took me and the other new intern to bdubs after church. They made us each eat one blazing wing. It was the hottest thing of my life! There's a vid on my facebook wall, you should check it out!

Internship

So I started my internship in Kenoooooosha yesterday.

I like saying Kenooooosha like that. I just feel like its right.

I drove for like six and a half hours all by my lonesome.

It was really windy, and there was lots of construction.

But it was good.

And then I got here and started freaking out, because this church looks big and scary from the outside. And I didn't know anyone hahaha. And I just drove for six hours and was super tired. I totally starting panicking in the parking lot. I almost turned around and drove home. I'm still half considering it lol. Not really.

But then I got inside, literally forcing myself to go in, and I met the staff, and they're super cool. And then Pastor Jon, the pastor i'm interning for, took me and another intern to a Cub's game. It was pretty sweet. We went with this Pakistani guy named Shak, and he took us to this Pakistani restuarant. We ate this crazy food- it was super spicy. Anyways, I didn't get back to my host home til like midnight, and I woke up and came straight back to the church. So I haven't really had time to process anything.

It kinda scares me that i'm going to be here for so long. It's crazy intimidating. It's not like I miss my fam and friends now, but it's the fact that I won't see them for a couple months that kinda blows my mind, makes me scared.....

but whatevskis! It's gonna be good. I'm gonna learn a lot. But yeah, if you're reading this, give me a call or something. Chances are i'll miss you. I'm not gonna post this or anything, so no one probably WILL see this, but nonetheless....