I set people on fire.

I feel like I have this tendency to set fire to my relationships and watch them burn down.

I mean, I don't mean to, but if something happens that hurts, I kind of set fire to any potential threats. Relationships are always threatening.

I don't want to be like this- I hate hurting people, and not trusting people. Especially since in reality my life is going supes great.

But in my head it's like this never ending battle over whether I can trust this person and whether the relationship is worth it and it just keeps going and I don't reach any conclusions.....

this is happening now. I've been hurting, and lashing out at Roy and Jon mostly. And I hate it. they're probs so sick of me. I don't blame them.

But I want to make it better.... I hope I can.

I talked to Jeramy and Jeff last night and today. They helped a lot. I guess I just need to try to trust people.

But it's hard. Especially with Roy, and I don't know why.

UGH.

But it'll be ok, it'll be good. BAM.