Wednesday, April 20, 2011

What they said...

One of my students told his dad he loved him today....

His dad just said ok.

And this makes me incredibly mad.
Because this student is incredible. I stinkin love him from the bottom of my heart. And he has and will continue to do incredible things for God.

But his dad won't say he loves him.

Maybe this isn't a big deal to you, but if I asked you to think of something that someone said to you that drastically shaped your life, for good or bad, I bet it wouldn't be too hard to think about it.

"It's your fault this happened."

"I'm leaving."

"You drove me to this."

"Your worse than your father."

Or maybe it was an action that shaped you.

Your mom moving across the country without you

Your dad working all the time and missing your games

Someone choosing the bottle over you

Someone choosing the guys over you

Someone important leaving you.
Forgetting about you.

And now, if something little happens that reminds you of that moment where your life seemed to stop mattering, you fall apart.
And it hurts, so terribly. And all you want is for someone to prove to you that that first thing isn't true.

To say you are loved where before you felt hated.
To show that you are worth time when before you were ignored.
To show that you have potential when before you were worthless.
To give you a hug.

I've been dealing with these little moments so much lately.

And even though people are often there to help, they aren't sometimes too.
And those times threaten to ruin all relationships i've been working on because my own self- doubt and worthlessness takes over.

And I just want someone to be there to tell me it's not true.

Please someone, let me know it's not true.

It's funny, because I can tell my student that I love him, and give him life.
But I can't do it for myself.

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