Monday, March 7, 2011

A comment on mentors

When I think about the fact that I am allowed to be a Fusion Leader, it blows my mind. That God trusta me with shaping the lives of these students- that THEY trust me to lead them- it astounds me.

In fact, when one of them tells me what God has done for them through me, I stinking love it.

Now, it used to be that I was embarassed about how much I looked up to the leaders in my life. I was half in awe of them, and half afraid they would let me down so it made me not want to let them know that I cared.

It's not like that any more. in fact, I need to regularly let them know that I care, that I don't choose just anyone to influence me, and that they shouldn't take the job lightly.

That's what i'm doing now.

Here's the deal-if I have been intentional with you, if I have texted you, or talked to you, or opened up to you, or signed a dumb contract for you (oh yeah, I went there lol) it is because I need you. I desperately, desperately need you. Yeah, I know i'm an emotional guy, and this looks pretty dramatic, but it's not. Right now, I am placing part of my well being in your hands. I trust you guys to have a big input in my life- to the point where I will take your advice over my own. And because of this I need you to understand two things:

1. If I am letting you have this kind of influence in my life, you need to assume that I love and respect you, think that you are more than worthy for this role in my life, and that I have no negative presuppositions of you. I've already talked through this with certain guys, but I need to remind you that I need you to be strong. Because i'm learning how from you. And when I say strong, I don't mean like you have it all together, but that you are at least confident that I see you as good enough.

2. If I am letting you have this influence in my life, I am hoping you won't let me down. I use to keep this whole shell up where I acted like I didn't care. Well, I don't do that so much anymore, and because of that, i've had to be a lot more vulnerable. And i'm fine with that, but also know that I am terrified of getting hurt. Especially from people that I hold in such high regards. That would suck. It does suck- it's happened before lol.

That's what I have this late at night lol- I get wrapped up in Pokemon and forget to blog so I only do it when i'm tired! Shoot!

But seriously guys- I wish I could adequately explain how much you're influence means to me, how much YOU mean to me. Because you really, really do.

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