Feeling Stuck

I'm really really frustrated right now. You see, I had this great idea that I was going to really make a push to doing better in my life, to be more successful, to be more "put together". I really put a lot of effort into this. I talked to people, I asked for help.

And really, what I feel like I got was the idea that I wasn't "good enough", that I was super messed up, and that I had a long way to go. Yeah, I did want honesty, and I know that they weren't trying to sound like that, but they did. And I tried to just take it in and make the best of it, and do what I was told to do, but i'm just really frustrated.

I'm sick of being told i'm wrong, that i'm messed up and need to really be fixed. Believe it or not I know that- and I thought that I was trying my best to do better, to get the guidance I need- but it feels like it still isn't good enough.

This stinkin hurts! I go out of my comfort zone, and all I get is advice that is really hard to take. The fact is is that I don't have the money or time to do anything more than i'm doing. I am literally trying my hardest.

But nope, try a little harder.

I feel pretty defeated. Maybe this whole thing was a bad idea. Maybe I should just try to work on myself.... myself.

Maybe i'm just tired and crabby because i've done nothing this week and i'm lonely.

I don't know.

But i'm pretty pissed.