Spring Break

So, this week was my spring break. I'm pretty bummed about it to be honest. All I did was work at Mcdonalds 's and.... welp, that's it.

And I don't really know what I expected. More time with people I care about? More time for me to get direction? Ha. All i've done is sit on the couch and play Pokemon or work. It's a little disappointing.

Also, someone said something today that made me think about how I screwed my internship up. And I really, really regret it. It's like I destroyed this huge opportunity I had.

And now i'm thinking something else- what if some of the rejection I feel is self-imposed? What if I purposefully distance myself from people so I won't get hurt? I mean, I can think of times when I do that, even today- pretending like I don't care when I get cancelled on, acting like a jerk so people won't realize that i'm afraid they don't like me...

And it's so dumb and childish! Hahaha, oh man.

Right now I feel pretty lame. Tomorrow is my last day off of spring break, and i'm doing absolutely nothing. It really stinks. But this is just me complaining. And that's ridiculous.