Sunday, January 9, 2011

What I don't understand: MENTORS

I'm a little bitter about this subject. Haha I don't really know what a mentor mentee relationship looks like, but pretty much every relationship that I would consider to be of that nature has kind of failed me at one point or another.
I always thought of mentors as people who are interested in YOU- people who want you to succeed, who invest in you, and who want to spend time with you. Maybe i'm totally wrong, but that sounds pretty legit, right?
The people who i've considered mentors in the past aren't EXACTLY like that lol. I love em all, but i've kind of been embittered to the whole thing.
There was this one guy who said he would set up times for us to meet and everything. Today I realized we haven't talked at all in more than a month..... he's done a lot for me, and I love him, but that stinks.
Usually what happens that really annoys me though is that they don't answer when I try to talk to them. I hate how I get all nervous just to send a freakin message, and then they don't respond! Talk about making me insecure! And now that I think about it, the very fact that I get nervous is probably a good indication that it's not a healthy relationship.
Another thing is that it's always me asking them to hang out... I feel like the mentor should take some initiative.
I mean really, this whole idea of some older guy caring about me is kind of ridiculous. I don't know where it came from, or why it matters to me. But it does. Mentors mean alot to me. Heck, I talk about them in like... every post. I just wish that I would get a real one.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate every guy in my life. But none of them really know whats going on with me anymore. I start school in two days, and I would have loved to sit down with SOMEONE and assess my life. I need that lol. But times kind of run out, and that shtinks.
I didn't mean to whine about this, i'm just really randomally frusterated today. Argh. On the brightside, we started shooting a video for teen divorce care today. It went great. :)

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