What up? Y'know, I did absolutely nothing today except napped and drank coffee. Saturdays are usually the days where I work and wait for Sunday. I love Sundays a lot, one of my two favorite days of the week. So Saturdays sometimes feel like a waiting game. Kinda weird, huh? oh well, whatevskis.
Anyway, today i'm going to talk about one of those things that i'm still learning, and might never really fully understand. Let me start off by talking about my "hero's". These are five guys who have- and are- shaping my life in small or big ways. They are, in no certain order:
1.Jeff Wendt
2. Jeramy Wheeler
3. Nick Gray
4. Jon Sanchez
5. And the newest.... and somewhat surprising, Roy Lucier
I owe these guys so much, and love each of them a butt load. But the thing is, because of all my insecurities and junk, I always doubt the authenticity of each of our relationships. I feel like they probably don't really care about me, even though they've done so much for me. I mean, they must care, right?
Wait.
Stop.
That's not the point. Here's what i've been learning. It shouldn't matter whether they care about me or not. Worrying about what they think about me makes me feel like I have to control the relationship, makes me need to constantly talk to them, or make sure they know i'm around. It's like i'm afraid they'll forget me unless I constantly remind them i'm there. And that's ridiculous.
Here's the truth: Jesus loved so much that he gave his life for everyone- even if they didn't love him back. That's real love- to love regardless it being reciprocated. Real love does not control, real love frees the other person, and asks nothing in return.
So, Jeff- this guy who I have looked up to all of my teenage life- is leaving my church. Not gonna lie, i've been taking it pretty hard the last couple of months. I was afraid that after he left, that would be the end of him being in my life. It's really scary. But y'know what? I'm gonna love the guy and his family regardless if we ever talk again. I mean, that's real love. And if we never talk again? As hard as that will be, it'll probably be that way for a reason, and at least there won't be any hard feelings.
So, My goal- in EVERY relationship- is to stop trying to control it, and to just love unconditionally. At least that way, when its all said and done, I know I gave my best to the relationship.
And that's what i'm learning. :)
You sure hit the nail on the head with your take on relationships. I definitely agree that we need to simply love and expect nothing in return. Then, if something is reciprocated, it makes it that much more meaningful. Also, I absolutely get the whole important person in your life leaving you and you not being sure whether that's the end of your relationship or not. My youth pastor and his family left during spring semester of my senior year in high school. It was awful; it still is the pits, but I do my best to love them unconditionally, no matter what.
ReplyDeleteGreat insight, sir. [: