Seasons come and go, hours waste away a day, before a new one begins.
People are born, give birth, die.
That sin you thought you got rid of comes back.
That problem you thought you got rid of takes over.
You open up to people
you close up
you open up
you close up
you open up
you close up.
And you see it every time, but you can't stop it. I saw myself close up tonight. I hate it. I hate that lonely feeling it leaves me with. I hate the pit in my stomache, the fact that I want to talk about it but I can't. The fact that I know i'm pulling away from people, but I don't know how not to. And now i'm drained, tired- maybe a little depressed.
God, i'm sorry for this. I want to be normal. I want to not desire people's time and energy. I want to just want to give. I know this is all stupid- heck this blog is a cry for attention. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please forgive me.
God, i'm not alright....
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