Tomorrow is my youth pastor's last day at church. Gosh that stinks. i'm not gonna talk about it right now though, it doesn't feel right.
Here's whats on my mind- my mom sitting at the top of the stairs crying because her ex husband destroyed her life. One of my students crying into my arms because their mom doesn't give a crap about them. Me punching the bathroom stall at church because I feel like i'm not important to anyone. A little boy grabbing my legs and begging me to not make him go home because no one loves him there. Friends cutting themselves, students cutting themselves. Friends trying to kill themselves, and then telling me with a straight face. People drinking to keep the demons at bay, people working to keep the demons at bay. People running, running, running from their hurt.
I hate this. I hate that the things I just talked about aren't unique to me, that everyone reading this have experienced the same thing. How is this ok? How are we so messed up? Why can't we fix this? It's so easy to say that we need to love people, that we need to trust God. But those are just words. Because every day we wake up and face this broken world, and more often than not I feel like we wake up, and give up to the fact that this world is broken, and that it will always be this way. We say "bad things happen", and "lifes tough". But why? Why are these excuses? Christ came to change things. Christ came to restore this world, to repair it and make it whole. He didn't say, "Life sucks and then we die." He said, "Hold on a little longer, I promise change is coming."
Here's whats on my mind- A young boy cuts himself at camp. That night he gives his life to Christ, and the cuts are healed before his eyes. A divorced woman finds herself unable to be loved, God opens her eyes to His amazing love. A father and son haven't talked for years, God brings reconciliation. A boy who is too shy and quiet to make any real difference is called into ministry, and gains a huge family made up of all kinds of believers. Tears are dried, dead men walk, the blind see, the mute sing, broken family's are made whole.
God is moving. Even now, when everything is messed up, He is doing His redemptive work all around us. And as Christians, we are supposed to be a part of that! Guys, we can't just sit back and let things stay how they are. We are literally the hands and feet of Christ. We are his representatives. If we are letting things fall apart, what does that say to people who are looking at Christians for guidance? Wow, i'm guilty of this. I complain and complain, but I never do anything.
I think it starts with honesty, and love. I think if I were honest, sometimes I don't want to care about others, because i'm too busy worrying about myself. And I think that if I purposefully act out of Christ's love, I can't worry about myself. Christ's love compels me to sacrifice all I have for the sake of others...
And I thought I was just writing a random post. But now I find that I just put up a challenge for myself. I need to love others much more than myself. How can I do that? What steps can I take? i'm gonna think about it. You guys should too.
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