Jeff

Today was my youth pastors last day at church. He did an amazing job with his message, it was all about stepping out in faith. I feel like now that this whole "transition" thing is really officially done, I can finally breathe. Today was definitely sad, and I cried a little, but I feel almost relieved, now that there is a resolution to this whole deal.

I'm going to talk about Jeff today. Now, I realize that I have no right to pretend like I really know him, or even that i'm a big deal to him. I do believe, however, that he is the one man who has had the most influence in my life. A lot of that is just because he holds the most spiritual authority in my life, and also that he has just been there for me through a lot. A big part of it is that I think he actually believes in me. I mean, I can't imagine that I have always been the incredibly mature, inspiring leader that I am today (sarcasm guys, sarcasm) but Jeff always gave me opportunities to become more, to try things that I hadn't before. Looking back on everything, I know its because of him that I am where I am.

Jeff is the best leader I have ever met. I definitely took it for granted growing up, but now that I am being exposed to all of these leadership ideas and styles, I can honestly say that he has this amazing ability to lead others. It's not even just charisma- he actually knows how to lead. He has this great ability to see the potential in others, and he knows how to cultivate it. I think that that's one of the best things about him- his ability to cultivate potential. That's going to help him a buttload when he's planting his new church ;)

Another thing I learned about Jeff is that he is a fanfreakintastic speaker. I took that for granted too. But then I went to North Central and heard speaker after speaker after speaker... Jeff outspoke them all. in fact, the one time he spoke at North Central is one of the most memorable chapels I have ever been to.

Man, there have been times where he answered my phone calls at midnight because I was freaking out, times that he let me sleep at his house, times where he made tough decisions because he knew what was best for me... times that he did things not because he had to, but because he really cared. That's leadership. That changed me.

Here's the truth- this sounds like i'm writing one of those "hero" essays, and kinda cheesy, but Jeff is my hero. I honestly look up to him so freakin much. He is an incredible Christ follower, a great husband, a great father, and an incredible leader. I love the guy, and I want to be just like him someday. I don't know how someone gets like that, but i'm trying to figure it out.

And i'm only one of a thousand lives he's touched. That's amazing, the fact that he's left such an incredible legacy and he's still young. I want that, I aspire to that. He has been such a great example of what following Christ with all of your heart looks like. Man, i'm tearing up thinking about him leaving, but I know there is no other way. Jeff wouldn't be Jeff if he stayed.

I would love to talk about the fact that i'm afraid I won't still talk to him, or that our relationship will die, but i'm going to just let it be. I don't think he's just gonna disappear. I hope not.

I don't know... I think it's hard to blog about people. Especially someone you've known for eight years. It's weird to think about the Wendt's not being at Oakhills anymore, about not seeing them every week. I don't want to think about it.

But I do know that they are following God's call, and that they will do amazing things in Northfield. They wrote in a book they gave to me once,

follow God's will and you will never be disappointed.

I am so proud of them for doing that.

And I love them for doing that.

Even though that's probably not worth much.

This whole thing scares me, because I still feel like I need Jeff in my life. I need his guidance, and his (this sounds lame) wisdom. I need his affirmation. Or at least I think I do.

But i'm going to trust God. He seems to know what's going on, even when I don't.

I'm praying that Jeff leaving makes sense to me. I know it doesn't matter if i'm for it or against it, because I know I am only one of a thousand that Jeff's life has changed. But to me, Jeff matters. And I hope that he will remember me. That he'll remember all of the lives that he has changed. And I hope it gives him and tiffany strength, that they can think about the lives they have changed, and know God has so much more in store for them.
I don't know- I can't explain how much they have done for me. But it's so much. I wish I could pay them back, but there's no way. I just love them a lot.

Aaaaaaaand now i'm rambling. Oh well.

Slater.