What i've learned: I'm not THAT important

Tonight was youth group night. It was super super great. Roy did a great job with the message (which was right up my alley), worship was awesome, everything worked perfectly.

And during small group, my co-leader Ben led, and he did super. I didn't even have to tell him to lead, he just did it, and the guys responded really well.

That's when I realized I was not needed there.

Now, I won't say that i'm not useful at my church, or that i'm not wanted. I am both useful and wanted. But I am definitely not needed. Tonight was a very good reminder that there are tons of passionate people out there who can do what I do, maybe even better. It reminds me that my participation in Fusion is a gift, that i'm not indespensible at all.

I talked to Roy afterwards about not having enough money for the retreat this weekend, and that if it was too much money to get me there, I didn't have to go. He just said "ok".

What was I expecting? For him to say,"no Jon, you have to go, we need you!" That is ridiculous, and I was being very selfish in assuming that I was that important.

I don't know what i'm trying to say.... just that I know that i'm not integral to Fusion's ministry. I'm just a piece of the machine- and a small one at that. I guess I should be grateful for what God has given me- grateful and not stupid. It is an honor to serve with the other leaders at Fusion, and under a guy like Roy. It is an honor and nothing more.

Also, looking at Ben lead tonight- it made me realize that Fusion would go on just fine without me. Kind of crazy to think about. Crazy, but true.